Royal的混沌世界

如果我很认真地问你
你就会很认真地回答我
如果我很认真地说了一个笑话
你就会很认真地笑了好久

要是世界上每一件事都这么简单就好了

 
Royal @ 2011-09-13 21:52

很奇怪的,昨晚梦见了我的美术老师。

他叫鲁炳成。如果在我清醒的时候我可能要想半天才能想起他的名字,可在梦里却无比的清晰。梦中的他依然年轻,在上海的某个角落我们相遇,是当年的他遇上了现在的我。我们一起穿过弄堂,然后转弯走上一段台阶,台阶凹凸不平,上面布满青苔。大约是傍晚时分,有昏暗的天光从右前方照射下来。在这路的尽头,他拉着我的手说:我们在一起,好吗?

在梦里,我好象很愿意似的。真奇怪。算起来足有二十年没见过面了,就是当年同在学校时也算不上相熟。

他是上海人,高个子、皮肤黝黑、外表算得上帅气。但他跟学生并不亲近,不苟言笑。我们都不知道他的过去,不知道他怎么来到我们北方的学校里教书,不过也没人有兴趣去了解。美术课原本是无关紧要的。他每星期给每个班上一次课,也许低年纪是两次,到高年纪干脆就没有了。

现在回想起来,我是他授课期间比较喜欢的那一个吧。那时候我大概十五岁,从照片上看,有一张刚刚长成的少女的干净的脸。也许是这个让他感到喜欢,也许仅仅因为我是美术课代表,我不知道。反正,每次上课他都会走到我的桌子前面。

他教我们画素描和水彩。起立,老师好,坐下。他从来都是马上开始授课,没有寒暄。他先在黑板上示范一遍过程,然后我们每人拿出一张素描纸,一枝2B铅笔开始在堂上画画。就是画些辣椒、水果、大树之类的,有一次我刚画好一只辣椒的轮廓线,他就走到我的桌旁,站着看,我窘住了,因为我从小就害怕老师看我。我们僵持了一会儿,他伸手要过我的铅笔,把画纸转到他的方向,用大笔触画起来。他一边画一边轻声地告诉我明暗关系、高光、阴影等等,有时候画重了就用手轻轻地蹭一下,或者用橡皮轻轻地蘸。他把大的明暗调子布好以后就交还给我,让我接着画下去。等整幅画完成以后,他从高处端详一下,让我在右下角签上我的名字。然后他就拍拍手上的铅笔灰,若无其事地走开,再到别的桌上去转转。再一会儿就下课了,铃声响过之后,他说,那么下课。然后以他一贯的冷淡态度走出教室。

也许因为他高傲,不怒而威,连班上那些爱捣乱的学生也都对他敬而远之,没人敢捉弄他。

到了下次课,他照例要先讲评上堂课的作业。他总是拿出我的那张,并且说出我的名字以示褒奖。脸上并没有多余的表情,甚至也不看我。而我每次都红了脸,觉得受之有愧。
这样几次课以后,别的同学也发现这方面的问题,当他在我的桌前画画时,总有怪异的表情从周围投射过来。那时我们都是内心简单的孩子,不象现在的孩子那么成熟。我窘极了,想躲开他。但他好象全然不觉,仍然坚持在我的桌前画画,他躬着背,高大的身躯挡在我的面前。也许他的内心也很简单,只是想跟一个比较喜欢的女孩子一起,制作一张范图,同时也打发掉这些无聊的课时罢了。

他给了我对素描和色彩的启蒙教育。虽然整个中学时代我都练习得很少,由于学校的客观条件,我从来没有想过报考艺术院校。那时侯我坚信我会成为一名记者,象我的外公一样。但几年以后,我却通过高考进入一所工科院校的建筑系。在那里我又学了两年的美术。画室都在走廊的北边,没有阳光直射。我们每天在阴冷的画室里练习,我从画架的后面,看那些摆放的静物,看光线在它们身上游走,周围一片笔尖擦过纸张的沙沙声。偶尔我会想起他,想起他的手在我的画纸上擦过,听见他的声音说着高光、阴影之类的话。有时候我也用手去蹭那些画重了的地方,就象他那样,手上沾满铅笔灰。有几个假期,我本来想去看他,他就住在我家后面那栋楼的三楼。但想想还是作罢,毕竟不算太熟。

这些事现在回想起来充满温馨,好象我对他真的有过某种情感。但那时的我,的确没有女生喜欢年轻的男教师那样的想法。以现在的标准看,他算得上酷,是很多女生愿意跟他发生一些故事的类型,但那时侯的我们,完全不懂得这些。而他也绝非是个花花公子。

印象中的他,不象那些搞艺术的人那么邋遢,而是衣着整齐。在北方的寒冷天气里,他总是穿着深色的高领衫,头发剪得也很精神,有时候也和同事或高年级的学生打打篮球。学校每次搞活动,都有他画的海报张贴出来,但内容已经记不清了。我甚至记不起他的脸。他的气质绝不是那种阳光型的,而是有点高傲和忧郁的吧。

真的记不清了。自从美术课结业以后,彼此再没有来往。甚至他现在在哪里我也从没打听过。仿佛听老同学提到,他前些年回到上海,在市高考办公室工作,就在延安西路高架桥的旁边,不知现在还在不在那里,生活过得是否如意。也不知道平日里还画不画画了。有一段时间我上班每天都经过那个门前,但我从没有去看过他。我怕他根本想不起来我是谁。以他跟学生的交情,他一定想不到我会在二十年之后,以这样的心情,想起他。



 
Royal @ 2011-06-24 22:47



 
Royal @ 2010-07-22 12:38

偶的球衣
  

鲁小胖
  

凌空抽射
 



 
Royal @ 2010-06-27 14:41

 

 

 

 



 
Royal @ 2010-06-27 13:55

 

 

 

 

 


 
Royal @ 2010-06-19 12:52





























 
Royal @ 2010-06-13 10:35






















 
Royal @ 2010-02-24 14:51

一小时的Open Canvas快涂练习




 
Royal @ 2010-01-25 14:40

现在专心画画的机会很少,只好见缝插针...

Step 1: 基本形状和明暗关系 (1 hour)




Step 2: 部分深入及调整 (2 hours)


Step 3:成稿






 
Royal @ 2010-01-13 09:55

谷歌在其官方博客上宣布,公司不愿再对其中国版搜索引擎Google.cn的搜索结果进行审查。在未来几周内,谷歌将就搜索引擎的过滤问题与中国政府进行磋商,并承认这项决定可能意味着Google.cn将不得不关闭,可能连谷歌驻中国的办事处也会关闭。
 
Google官方博客原文(Google公司发展事务高级副总裁David Drummond
 
A new approach to China
1/12/2010 03:00:00 PM
 
Like many other well-known organizations, we face cyber attacks of varying degrees on a regular basis. In mid-December, we detected a highly sophisticated and targeted attack on our corporate infrastructure originating from China that resulted in the theft of intellectual property from Google. However, it soon became clear that what at first appeared to be solely a security incident--albeit a significant one--was something quite different.
 
First, this attack was not just on Google. As part of our investigation we have discovered that at least twenty other large companies from a wide range of businesses--including the Internet, finance, technology, media and chemical sectors--have been similarly targeted. We are currently in the process of notifying those companies, and we are also working with the relevant U.S. authorities.
 
Second, we have evidence to suggest that a primary goal of the attackers was accessing the Gmail accounts of Chinese human rights activists. Based on our investigation to date we believe their attack did not achieve that objective. Only two Gmail accounts appear to have been accessed, and that activity was limited to account information (such as the date the account was created) and subject line, rather than the content of emails themselves.
 
Third, as part of this investigation but independent of the attack on Google, we have discovered that the accounts of dozens of U.S.-, China- and Europe-based Gmail users who are advocates of human rights in China appear to have been routinely accessed by third parties. These accounts have not been accessed through any security breach at Google, but most likely via phishing scams or malware placed on the users' computers.
 
We have already used information gained from this attack to make infrastructure and architectural improvements that enhance security for Google and for our users. In terms of individual users, we would advise people to deploy reputable anti-virus and anti-spyware programs on their computers, to install patches for their operating systems and to update their web browsers. Always be cautious when clicking on links appearing in instant messages and emails, or when asked to share personal information like passwords online. You can read more here about our cyber-security recommendations. People wanting to learn more about these kinds of attacks can read this U.S. government report (PDF), Nart Villeneuve's blog and this presentation on the GhostNet spying incident.
 
We have taken the unusual step of sharing information about these attacks with a broad audience not just because of the security and human rights implications of what we have unearthed, but also because this information goes to the heart of a much bigger global debate about freedom of speech. In the last two decades, China's economic reform programs and its citizens' entrepreneurial flair have lifted hundreds of millions of Chinese people out of poverty. Indeed, this great nation is at the heart of much economic progress and development in the world today.
 
We launched Google.cn in January 2006 in the belief that the benefits of increased access to information for people in China and a more open Internet outweighed our discomfort in agreeing to censor some results. At the time we made clear that "we will carefully monitor conditions in China, including new laws and other restrictions on our services. If we determine that we are unable to achieve the objectives outlined we will not hesitate to reconsider our approach to China."
 
These attacks and the surveillance they have uncovered--combined with the attempts over the past year to further limit free speech on the web--have led us to conclude that we should review the feasibility of our business operations in China. We have decided we are no longer willing to continue censoring our results on Google.cn, and so over the next few weeks we will be discussing with the Chinese government the basis on which we could operate an unfiltered search engine within the law, if at all. We recognize that this may well mean having to shut down Google.cn, and potentially our offices in China.
 
The decision to review our business operations in China has been incredibly hard, and we know that it will have potentially far-reaching consequences. We want to make clear that this move was driven by our executives in the United States, without the knowledge or involvement of our employees in China who have worked incredibly hard to make Google.cn the success it is today. We are committed to working responsibly to resolve the very difficult issues raised.
 
Posted by David Drummond, SVP, Corporate Development and Chief Legal Officer



 
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